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Lifelink
If a nontoken creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile that card and create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
{2}{B}, Sacrifice another Vampire or Zombie: Put two +1/+1 counters on Kalitas.
{T}, Put a page counter on this artifact: Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{2}, {T}, Put a page counter on this artifact: Draw a card.
When there are four or more page counters on this artifact, exile it. If you do, you gain 4 life.
Whenever an opponent discards a creature card, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
Whenever an opponent discards a land card, add {B}{B}.
Whenever an opponent discards a noncreature, nonland card, draw a card.
Exile target card from a graveyard. If it was a creature card, you gain 3 life. Otherwise, you draw a card.
Escape—{3}{B}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
Destroy target creature if it has mana value 2 or less.
Revolt — Destroy that creature if it has mana value 4 or less instead if a permanent left the battlefield under your control this turn.
Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.
+1: Each player discards a card.
−2: Target player sacrifices a creature.
−6: Separate all permanents target player controls into two piles. That player sacrifices all permanents in the pile of their choice.
This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.
If you control two or more other lands, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{3}{B}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 3/3 black Beholder creature with menace and "Whenever this creature attacks, exile target card from defending player's graveyard." It's still a land.
{T}: Add {B}.
Channel — {3}{B}, Discard this card: Mill three cards, then return a creature or planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. Each player searches their library for a basic land card, puts it onto the battlefield, then shuffles.
This land enters tapped. As it enters, choose a color.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.
{T}: Add two mana of the chosen color. Spend this mana only to activate abilities of land sources.
Exile target card from a graveyard. If it was a creature card, you gain 3 life. Otherwise, you draw a card.
Escape—{3}{B}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.
When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.
Spells and abilities your opponents control can't cause their controller to search their library.
−1: Target player mills four cards. Then exile each opponent's graveyard.
This spell costs {2} less to cast if your life total is 5 or less.
Exile target creature or planeswalker. Search its controller's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that permanent and exile them. That player shuffles, then draws a card for each card exiled from their hand this way.
Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.