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Deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, they lose half their life, rounded up.
When this creature dies, if it had no counters on it, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with two stun counters on it.
Flying
This creature enters with four oil counters on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove an oil counter from this creature. Then if it has no oil counters on it, you lose the game.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, its controller loses 2 life.
This Vehicle enters with three charge counters on it.
{2}, {T}, Remove a charge counter from this Vehicle: Draw a card. Then if there are no charge counters on this Vehicle, create a Treasure token and a 1/1 colorless Pilot creature token with "This token crews Vehicles as though its power were 2 greater."
Crew 3
When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.
Destroy target creature if it has mana value 2 or less.
Revolt — Destroy that creature if it has mana value 4 or less instead if a permanent left the battlefield under your control this turn.
Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.
Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.
This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.
If you control two or more other lands, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{3}{B}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 3/3 black Beholder creature with menace and "Whenever this creature attacks, exile target card from defending player's graveyard." It's still a land.
{T}: Add {B}.
Channel — {3}{B}, Discard this card: Mill three cards, then return a creature or planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. Each player searches their library for a basic land card, puts it onto the battlefield, then shuffles.
Whenever this creature attacks, reveal the top card of your library and put it into your hand. You lose life equal to that card's mana value if this creature isn't saddled. Otherwise, each opponent loses that much life.
Saddle 3 (Tap any number of other creatures you control with total power 3 or more: This Mount becomes saddled until end of turn. Saddle only as a sorcery.)
{T}: Exile up to two target cards from a single graveyard.
Unlicensed Hearse's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards exiled with it.
Crew 2
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn. Exile all creature cards in all graveyards that were put there from the battlefield this turn. If a creature would die this turn, exile it instead.
Spells and abilities your opponents control can't cause their controller to search their library.
−1: Target player mills four cards. Then exile each opponent's graveyard.
This spell costs {2} less to cast if your life total is 5 or less.
Exile target creature or planeswalker. Search its controller's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that permanent and exile them. That player shuffles, then draws a card for each card exiled from their hand this way.
Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.