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Deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, they lose half their life, rounded up.
When this creature dies, if it had no counters on it, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with two stun counters on it.
Flying
This creature enters with four oil counters on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove an oil counter from this creature. Then if it has no oil counters on it, you lose the game.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, its controller loses 2 life.
This Vehicle enters with three charge counters on it.
{2}, {T}, Remove a charge counter from this Vehicle: Draw a card. Then if there are no charge counters on this Vehicle, create a Treasure token and a 1/1 colorless Pilot creature token with "This token crews Vehicles as though its power were 2 greater."
Crew 3
Destroy target creature if it has mana value 2 or less.
Revolt — Destroy that creature if it has mana value 4 or less instead if a permanent left the battlefield under your control this turn.
Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.
+1: Each player discards a card.
−2: Target player sacrifices a creature.
−6: Separate all permanents target player controls into two piles. That player sacrifices all permanents in the pile of their choice.
This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.
If you control two or more other lands, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{3}{B}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 3/3 black Beholder creature with menace and "Whenever this creature attacks, exile target card from defending player's graveyard." It's still a land.
{T}: Add {B}.
Channel — {3}{B}, Discard this card: Mill three cards, then return a creature or planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. Each player searches their library for a basic land card, puts it onto the battlefield, then shuffles.
When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.
If a land is tapped for two or more mana, it produces {C} instead of any other type and amount.
Each spell a player casts costs {1} more to cast for each other spell that player has cast this turn.
{T}: Exile up to two target cards from a single graveyard.
Unlicensed Hearse's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards exiled with it.
Crew 2
Cleave {4}{W}{B} (You may cast this spell for its cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in square brackets.)
Destroy all creatures [with mana value 2 or less].
Spells and abilities your opponents control can't cause their controller to search their library.
−1: Target player mills four cards. Then exile each opponent's graveyard.
Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.
