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Menace
Equipped creature has base power and toughness 5/5, has menace, and is a black Demon in addition to its other colors and types.
Reconfigure {2}{B}{B} ({2}{B}{B}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)
Deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, they lose half their life, rounded up.
When this creature dies, if it had no counters on it, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with two stun counters on it.
Flying
This creature enters with four oil counters on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove an oil counter from this creature. Then if it has no oil counters on it, you lose the game.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, its controller loses 2 life.
Destroy target creature if it has mana value 2 or less.
Revolt — Destroy that creature if it has mana value 4 or less instead if a permanent left the battlefield under your control this turn.
Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.
You may pay {1}{B} rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
If the {1}{B} cost was paid, an opponent draws a card.
Exile target creature or planeswalker.
Kicker {2}{B} (You may pay an additional {2}{B} as you cast this spell.)
Destroy target creature or planeswalker with mana value 2 or less. If this spell was kicked, instead destroy target creature or planeswalker.
This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.
If you control two or more other lands, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.
{3}{B}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 3/3 black Beholder creature with menace and "Whenever this creature attacks, exile target card from defending player's graveyard." It's still a land.
{T}: Add {B}.
Channel — {3}{B}, Discard this card: Mill three cards, then return a creature or planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.
Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose an artifact or creature card from it, then choose an artifact or creature card from their graveyard. Exile the chosen cards.
When this artifact enters, exile target card from a graveyard.
{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Exile each opponent's graveyard.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.
When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.
Choose a card name other than a basic land card name. Search target opponent's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with that name and exile them. That player shuffles, then creates a 2/2 black Zombie creature token for each card exiled from their hand this way.
Lifelink
If a nontoken creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile that card and create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
{2}{B}, Sacrifice another Vampire or Zombie: Put two +1/+1 counters on Kalitas.
This spell costs {2} less to cast if your life total is 5 or less.
Exile target creature or planeswalker. Search its controller's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that permanent and exile them. That player shuffles, then draws a card for each card exiled from their hand this way.